An Analogy

Dear Fellow American,

Recently I voluntarily joined the security team of a very large firm. I was required to sign a four year contract with them and could be recalled to service up to five years after the end of our contract. This firm is well known for its arrogance and hostile actions and previous CEO's have a history of misusing the security for their own gains. Fortunately, the newest CEO is a religious man and would never misuse his power. By signing with this firm I must relinquish my civil rights, promise to devote my every waking moment to the firm, never speak poorly of the firm, and be experimented upon without my knowledge or permission, run the risk of being killed by a rival firm and all for a meager salary. I knew all of this before I signed, but I was raised believing this was the right thing to do. I joined the firm's security team with a sense of great pride and worth.

The CEO of the firm has ultimate control over the security force and can use it pretty much as he pleases—good thing he's a religious man. According to the firm's by-laws the security force is not to be used against another firm without approval from the board-of-trustees, and only as a defense against aggression. Recently our CEO took it upon himself to send us to another firm and ordered us to take control over it and kill anyone who stood in our way. We did as we were told, after all "ours is not to reason why…". We were sent to this other firm because our firm had recently thwarted a hostile take-over. Our CEO was informed by other employees of our firm that the other firm had a hand in the take-over. That actually ended up not being true, and the employees who misinformed our CEO have now been promoted to executive positions—that'll teach them. Even though we took over the other firm on false pretenses, it was actually a good thing because their CEO wasn't a nice guy. They also produce Smoil and Smoil is very important to our firm.

Our firm manufactures Laws-a-lot and some how Smoil is used in the process. Laws-a-lot is a substance used to confine people, restrict freedom or to prohibit certain unsavory practices. Without Smoil, Laws-a-lot would cease to exist—and we cannot have that.

Unfortunately the employees of the other firm resent and hate us and have been causing us a bit of trouble. For some reason they have not appreciated us sticking our firm's nose into the business of their firm. We are just as shocked as you are. Go figure?

I am writing to let you know that we could really use your support right now. If you could maybe put a bumper sticker on your car or a sign in your window, we would really appreciate it. After all, we did invade and take-over the other firm for you!

Sincerely,
A. Gullible American