Dear Mr. Obama,

Dear Mr. Obama,


Regarding the recent bailout programs for financial institutions; I understand the automotive industry is now requesting to be bailed out as well. I am sure there are various other industries chomping-at-the-bit to be bailed out and you have yet to speak with all of them.


I would like to take this opportunity to “throw my name in the hat” of proposed bailouts. I am personally in the industry of “Making Hay,” “Raising Hell” and “Wreaking Havoc.” However lately, business has not been so good. Due to various financial responsibilities; familial duties such as raising children, unclogging drains, assisting with homework; reporting to a full-time and a part-time job; and even age; have all attributing factors into my need for a bailout. My production of hay, hell and havoc are at an all time low. I have been able to produce enough to get by, but there is no longer a surplus and I am dangerously close to dipping into reserves.


I readily admit that age could be the main determinant regarding hay making and hell raising; but wreaking havoc is down due to stiff competition from the government. I can survive on the hay and hell I produce now, but the amount and magnitude of havoc the government wreaks far surpasses any I could ever dream of wreaking.


Please take a moment and consider using my tax dollars to bail me out as authorized by the recent bailout bill passed by Congress and the White House.


Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.


Sincerely,
Matthew Evans








Dear Mr. Obama,


Regarding my previous letter requesting a bail out from the federal government; I realized afterward that I sent it to the wrong person. Please scratch out your name and address it to Federal Reserve Chairman, Henry Paulson. I forgot that you, your buddy McCain and your predecessor Bush have given Paulson (a private employee of the privately owned Federal Reserve) the unquestionable, carte blanche power to decide these things. So please write his name after “Dear Mr.” and forward it appropriately.


Thank you,
Matthew Evans




Dear Mr. Obama,


It's me again; it's about my last letter to you this time. I asked that you change the name to Paulson, well, I hate to admit it, but I mistakenly asked you to put the name of the Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson on the previous letter, but meant to say Ben Bernanke. It is rather easy to confuse the two considering how often they are in the news lately. Besides, I am beginning to think they may actually be the same person. Are they ever seen in the same room together? I know there are photographs of them standing side-by-side, but with today's Photoshop it is easier to conceal one's secret identity.


Are we sure they aren't the same person? You know, like Spider-Man and Peter Parker, Larry the Cucumber and Larry Boy, Superman and Clark Kent, John McCain 2000 and John McCain 2008? It's just a thought.


But back to my point.... Would you please be so kind as to scratch out your previous scratch out and write in Ben Bernanke?


Thanks again,
Matthew Evans